things i don't like to hear

* don't ask stupid questions

* can't you just smile
* you should do this
* you're so moody

* grow up

* man up

wasn't it beautiful when you believed in everything and everybody believed in you?

it's not what you've lost but it's what you find

i like my bedroom window. it's big and lets in lots of light. i often watch clouds and airplanes and helicopters rush by and wonder where they're headed. when relatives or friends are coming or going i still wave from my window like i did when i was little. i don't feel so little anymore but i kind of still am. the best thing i get to see is the moon spinning through the sky. sometimes i feel lonely when she's not there. the picture above i took one night i didn't sleep at all and the moon was beginning to disappear near the time i needed to wake up for school. i took the picture below a couple of weeks ago because the sky was candyfloss blue (paler in real life) and the clouds looked delicious. my picture looks like a painting, it came out looking so lovely.

the kitchen is across the corridor from my bedroom and its window offers a great view too. i get to see squirrels dash up trees and birds fly from branch to branch. there's a large blossom tree behind these flats and on windy days in spring its petals rush by the window and it looks like a flock of butterflies migrating, so pretty. sometimes i lean backwards out of the window and take in the vastness of the sky until i get dizzy; it's reassuring somehow during the day, but very intimidating at night. there's a big children's park behind us and it's so noisy during summer, but it's happy sounds so that's okay. i can also partially see the main road and all the buses that go by. i love great views.

monday moodboard

                                           i want a beautiful home one day where the walls are painted with pretty scenery. street art like on the right is so rare and beautiful and unique. i hope i can see something like it one day and touch it. i appreciate that kind of thing. also flowers are so wonderful, dead or alive, especially when in bouquets. i love when things overflow but are still attractive, like ruffles spilling out of the collar of a tight, long dress.

'originality is dead'

who lied and said 'originality is dead? i'm seeing this phrase all over the place and it's so negative. my friends were talking about it the other day and all agreeing with it, even i was, and i think that's very sad; we're only 14 years old and it's us who will one day be adults capable of changing the world (maybe we are now but idk, school etc.). when there's a whole world full of stuff to do and discover, i don't think it's right that young people should just accept that our options are limited and we must just pass all of our exams and get a job to make lots of money to provide for our families. our brains are capable of so much and we need to maintain that, expand them. i don't know why we (humans) hear something and just accept it. it's like we're discouraged from a young age to question things. i saw a picture the other day that said something about being told the half truth and believing the wrong half and it just made me think. in my opinion originality isn't dead, it's just harder to achieve since it seems like everything has been done. and because of what i think is this illusion, people aren't so shocked by really amazing ideas and don't try to make their own. or maybe they think of these ideas and wait for other people to do them. this could be the case. i was at my aunty's house yesterday with some of her friends and their kids, we talked the whole night, and at one point my aunty said it would be nice to hear conscious rap music sung over an african beat. then i thought why don't you do it? one of her friends that was there is a musician. everything is so strange, people are like robots just accepting this crazy system that programmes us to be the same. idek. i feel like my thoughts make no sense and i wonder if i'm naive and/or ignorant and if anything i say or think is relevant or even matters. i really annoy myself sometimes but i just want to make something great of myself. i don't like posting on sundays, but i need somewhere to put my jumbled thoughts before my head explodes, whether they make sense or not.

the underacheivers make such perfect music omg, the lyrics just leave me in awe

liebster award

aw this is nice. :-) sweet mabel nominated me for a liebster award so here we go:

11 things about me
1. my wardrobe is pretty full of clothes but i don't like most of them so i basically live in pyjamas
2. i used to be like obsessed with photography and me and 2 of my friends would go to photography club during school lunchtimes on thursdays but it got crap and our friendship has gone all weird now idk
3. when i'm angry or feel like crying i usually tap my right foot lol
4. i'd love to spend like half a year travelling around america with lots of money and not much of a plan
5. i find it really hard to apologise
6. the sound of ticking clocks annoys me beyond belief omg
7. i'm really really really lazy and i don't listen to the voice in my head that tells me to do stuff anymore
8. i overuse the word 'stuff' lol
9. i broke my laptop a few weeks ago; i dented the screen but idk how
10. i've had a really shit week
11. i apparently mumble and whisper when i talk oops

mabel's questions
1. if you were any of henry viii's wives, which one would you be? the one who outlived him ha
2. do you play any instruments? no but i wish i could play the piano and drums
3. how old are you? 14
4. do you have a favourite musical? what's your favourite song from it? camp rock 2, it's not too late
5. what's your favourite film? the one you always go back to when you feel sad? i'm not much of a film person but i love princess protection programme hehe
6. if you could be part of any era what would it be? the hippie era or the jazz era
7. if you could be in any film what would it be and who would you play? erm i'd be in the harry potters and i'd be luna lovegood
8. what's your favourite album since 2010? either speak now (taylor swift) or born to die: paradise edition (lana del rey)
9. put the first picture you come across here when you refresh your tumblr: 

i refreshed a few times lol

10. elephants or giraffes? giraffes
11. do you believe in luck? i'm not sure, i guess so

legs legs legs

i'm comfortable with my legs and i don't shave them - i've never felt the need to. i don't know why some people think being female means that you must shave or wax. i was with 3 family friends at the weekend and i can't remember how or why, but i ended up showing them this strange strip at the bottom of my leg that's completely hairless. that isn't what they payed attention to of course. i wasn't bothered by their shock, but one of the two boys said it's unholy for a girl to be hairy... i'm still confused. he couldn't answer me when i questioned this, he said it just is. then he asked me with a smirk on his face if that's why i wore a maxi dress to my cousin's holy communion the week before. i would have said that i wore it because i felt very pretty in it and the dress is lovely, but i didn't have to justify myself. my legs are nice and do a good job at supporting and transporting me and whatnot, that's enough for me. this idea that hairless is the only kind of beautiful is very strange in my opinion. why should the body that somebody else lives in for their whole life look a certain way for you if that's not what the person wants?

monday moodboard

last week was half term. i was so bored and i didn't do anything but hopefully being back at school will keep me busy. i don't exactly want to go back but my brain feels like it's wasting away and i need some motivation or something. i'm writing my friend a letter right now and wondering what to do today. i'm going to the orthodontists later for a check up. i was planning to watch edward scissorhands, i recorded it yesterday, but it deleted somehow. i can't figure out how to work the t.v properly so i don't even bother with it anymore lol it's too frustrating.