what?

i'm trying to think about what i want to do with my life, where i want it to go. i'm trying to figure out what i want to achieve and produce and do.

i'm reading chimamanda ngozi adichie's the thing around your neck which is a book of short stories. i love it so far in all its delicate solidity. it's really inspiring me but i'm unsure of what to do about that.

i saw a girl on instagram who i used to talk to on the bus home from school and she's got a fashion blog and seems so content with what she does and how she does it. it's funny how what we interpret as success in others can make us feel useless. the thing is i don't feel useless i feel like i have many uses... but what are they?

i just want to spend some exploratory time with myself and the sources of inspiration i have in my books, magazines, the internet, my soul... maybe then i will find exactly what may deliver me from this spiritually stationary state.

(i offer this diarylike blogpost as a prayerful call to the universe, that it may respond to me with great and helpful signs and things)