a typical tuesday night

my day has been very emotional, but not in a particularly overwhelming or even noticeable way; it's just that now, as i'm reflecting, i've become aware of how much my brain processes and my heart feels in only a day. it's clearer to me now why i'm often so tired.
this morning i remember being shocked at the tranquil thickness of the fog outside. i remember feeling really refreshed as i quickwalked through a cold breeze into school, and thinking how i'd love to go on a walk somewhere at this time of day (it was still kind of dark and peaceful-quiet like when a child has just fallen sleep).
a relatively little while later, one of my friends walked into the form crying really hard and she clumsily collapsed into her seat and i tried to hold her hand because no words could crawl out my mouth but it didn't really work then she said i can't even look at you and hid behind her bag and my only reaction was to feel her sadness with her in the hope that it would go away quicker. i'm no good at displaying affection - especially when i feel it intensely. i later heard her say (though i don't think i was supposed to) but why did my dad have to hit me like that? and it made my heart drop. our friends came in and made her laugh again and i swear it was like seeing a rainbow. she looked beautiful but i didn't want to tell her in case she thought i was just being nice cos she was sad so i didn't.
during my history lesson a teacher walked in and asked me to see her after. i couldn't think what i'd done lol but it turned out one teacher complained i'm rude and have an attitude problem so we talked it out and i didn't mind because she wasn't patronising about it. she even reminded me that teachers are human which i do admittedly sometimes forget. she told me how when a teacher already thinks you are a problem, it's like focusing on a spec of dust that really bugs you but everyone else just walks past and doesn't see the problem with. i understand now, but i do wish staff would be more willing and available to talk like that without a teacher having to have an issue first.
all that as well as the varying emotions i've felt in each lesson today as well as since i got home has been pretty much. i really need to sort my life and myself out like now, but it's not like facebook where you can just de- and re-activate when it suits you so my current disorganisation and confusion looks like it won't go away.
this is all so weird. the world should just revolve around me when my emotional state gets fragile like this.