4am thoughts

cassie (skins)

sometimes i get a bit uncomfortable with my existence. it's hard to explain but i feel like i don't necessarily want to be here. it's nothing negative or suicidal, i just want my soul to be floating languidly near the clouds or flying with the wind rather than trapped in my boring body. i'm not even sure if i'm sure about what a soul even is.

cecilia (the virgin suicides)

i just googled it: a soul is the immortal, nonphysical part of a human being or animal. some religions believe that things like mountains and rivers possess souls. that's beautiful and i agree. i can't imagine nature being soulless so i won't. it interests me very much to know that 'heart' and 'ghost' are synonyms of 'soul'. i think of synonyms as sisters. it's kind of funny to think of words as being related to each other.

sleep will not come because sleep does not will it

i want to live in a world where i could go to a park and fall asleep under a tree or next to some flowers and remain undisturbed. i could wake up to a stranger lying near me and we could get talking and i would have made a new friend. how lovely. :-) see i dream when i'm awake and it's nice because these things stay with me for a while. it's after 4.30 now. i'm not sure i'll sleep tonight and that's annoying because i'll probably sleep throughout the day.