death stuffs

apparently catholic funerals aren't supposed to have eulogies because " the actual purpose of the funeral is to pray for the deceased, not engage in a celebration of their life". that is so interesting. my funeral certainly can't be catholic then because it's going to be the biggest celebration of my life. sometimes i think about my funeral and i want it to be like a wedding between me and death. what a strange way to word it lol. i want it to be as colourful and happy as possible. i want there to be good music and food, lots of laughter, as people remember me properly. that would be much more respectful to my memory than silence and sadness and blackness.

anyway i read this poem by grace nichols yesterday called winter thoughts and the last few words are confusing yet slightly make sense ?? :
sex and death
are always at the heart
of living

and my favourite poem so far from grace nichols' book ('the fat black woman's poems', i got it for myself at christmas) is the fat black woman's motto on her bedroom door:

IT'S BETTER TO DIE IN THE FLESH OF HOPE
THAN TO LIVE IN THE SLIMNESS OF DESPAIR